You're Not In Love!

These relationships that you think are so awesome...

And I'll fill you in a little, I'll fill you in.

Especially the teenagers in the audience and the young people in the audience.

Who kinda just, recently kinda shot an email, and somebody emailed them back and a little facebook thing happened and you know, little...little wink and a little hehe there at the playground, even though it's a separate school, but in recess you saw each other, and hehehe and hehehe, like a little bit of that happened.

Let me just fill you in a little.

You know all of this is a product of low self-esteem.

You (girls/women) think you're ugly.

So if a guy thinks you're cute, you are like, 'Really, I am beautiful?'

You know, you have low self-esteem, you think nobody is gonna like you, you know, nobody is gonna marry you, and all of that stuff and...

And on the other hand the guy, like you know.

We don't have good friendships and good relationships andwe are looking for something.

And most of the guys, I don't have to tell you what's going on in your head.
You and I have ijma'a (consensus) on this issue.

The things that go on in our head, there is no need for me to explain that to you, you know.

But you know just because you have raging hormones, and you are like, day dreaming about girls, and things like that, it doesn't mean that you are in love!
It just means that you haven't controlled your temptations yet.

And you're ruining somebody's life!

You're ruining an entire family!

Do you realize what you are doing?!

And you call it love?!

You tell me if she was like 50 ponds fatter, you'd still be in love?

Because she is the same person, same ruh (soul) inside her jasad (body), right?

If she was a burn victim or something, if her hand burnt off.

If her ear was missing, you'd still be in love?

Or you find somebody else to love all of a sudden?

And if you can't answer that question, honestly then, come on, you're not in love, you're just hormonal!

That's all you are. You know...

This is what we've done to relationships that are supposed to be beautiful.

Marriage is supposed to be a beautiful relationship.

It's supposed to be a lifelong relationship.

But because you are watching all of these models on TV, and stupid like...you know, women that are just throwing themselves at men and and all this stuff.

You've developed this delusional concept of what it means to have love in your life.
Delusional concept!

Our Deen came to free the world from this nonsense. To free it!

And if you've been in that kind of relationship, or you're in one of those relationships right now, nobody knows, only Allah knows and you know.

But I am saying....and you are like, 'After today's lecture I've decided I will no longer want to be your friend.'

You know, don't even write that!

Because even then you are looking for a response.

You're kidding yourself. And then you're checking, did she write back?

'Yes we should no longer be friends.'

And you'll write back, 'You're right, we really shouldn't be friends anymore.'

And then she'll write, 'Yeah, never again.'

And then you'll write...

You're still doing it.

Just stop!

Just cut it off!


That's it!

Either he is your brother, you share a mom or he's not.

And then that's the end of it.

By Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan