When Those We Love Pass Away

Assalaamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakaathuh

Ahlan wa sahlam wa marhaban bikum

Ya AbdAllah -- Ya AmatAllah. Allah (subahaanahu wa ta'ala) states in the noble Quran: 'Every single soul will taste death'. Ya AbdAllah (O slave of Allah) no doubt, the loss of a parent is a massive blow to any human being. Whether it be Muslim, or whether it be non-Muslim. With regards to the Muslim, as the Messenger (ﷺ) has stated, that the believer, all of his affairs are good. If it's tough times, he has sabr (patience) that walhamdulillah, this is good for him and when it's good times he makes shukr (thanks) and walhamdulillah that's good for him. With regards to the loss of a parent or any other close relative, be it a husband, be it a wife, be it a child, Allahu musta'an (may Allah help us), then a few pointers that we should take note of, in sha Allah. 

Number 1 - This is the Qadr (decree) of Allah (subahaanahu wa ta'ala). Every single one of us, this is the journey that we have to face and we have to go through. Do we not want to meet Allah (subahaanahu wa ta'ala)? Do we not want to enter into paradise? Yes we do. And so, we have to go through deaths door. 

Number 2 - Ya Abdallah, with regards to the funeral preparations, with regards to the events, with regards to the matters surrounding the death, we should stick to the shari'ah of Muhammad (ﷺ). We should not involve ourselves in innovations; involve ourselves in practices, cultural practices, etc. Rather stick to the Sunnah, for verily, it is the best. 

Number 3 - Ya Abdallah, no doubt, this is emotional turmoil when someone passes away. Have people around oneself. If you know of someone who has lost a father, lost a mother, offer themself a shoulder, offer them a shoulder, offer them time that they can speak about this loss. 

Many a times, we bottle this in and in reality it comes out at times in the wrong way. Rather, speak to somebody. No doubt, it is natural. We lost a father, lost a grandfather, lost a mother, who was with us for our entire lives Allahu musta'an (may Allah help us). It is no doubt a massive loss. So speak to someone. And no doubt, getting over, getting over this turmoil, getting over this emotional rollercoaster might not take just a week, might not take 2 days or 5 days. It might be months, but SubahaanAllah, with time, (bi'izthnillahi ta'ala -- by the permission of Allah) all matters heal. The Messenger (ﷺ) lost a son, he lost more than one a son. He lost Qasim, he lost Ibrahim, he lost Abdullah, he lost Ruqayyah, he lost Umm Kulthum, and he lost Zaynab. When he was tearing and they asked him, 'even you cry O Muhammad (ﷺ)?' What did he say? He said that, 'That's the eyes tears, the heart is saddened but we only say what is pleasing to Allah (subahaanahu wa ta'ala).' and so, crying, tearing, all of these matters are fine. This is how we overcome this great loss that one has faced. 

Jazakumullahu Khairan

Assalaamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakaathuh

By Ustadh Bilal Ismail